Two for the Road

"Two for the Road"
Season	4
Episode	3
Original air date	September 10, 2024
Episode chronology
← Previous	"Gates of Heaven"
Next →	"The Stunt Man"

"Two for the Road" is the third episode of the fourth season of Only Murders in the Building, starring Steve Martin, Selena Gomez and Martin Short. It originally aired on September 10, 2024.

Short Summary

Charles, Oliver & Mabel begrudgingly pair off with new investigators... actors Eugene Levy, Zach Galifianakis & Eva Longoria.

Full Summary

Mabel, Charles, and Oliver look at the murder board and add clues and notes. Charles added one suggesting that the killer, "Hates Charles?" and draws a frowny face on the card.

Someone in an FBI jacket enters the incinerator room, where several others are sifting through the ash to find Sazz's remains. Nearby, a tray containing her joints sits on a table.

Over in the West Tower, in the Dudenoff apartment, someone finds a shell casing.

Charles answers a knock at his door to find Detective Williams. She has to tell them something that isn't public yet. Before she can continue, Oliver interrupts and asks if she's really helping them. She tells him to stay focused because she's trying to talk to them. Williams continues that the feds are on the case and they don't want her involved. That's fine, but the least she can do is feed them some useful information. The feds think Jan has something to do with Sazz's murder. Since she hadn't escaped yet when it happened, they think she hired someone. They suspect she's gone to Florida, where there are a lot of orchestras and sex toy shops. The shooter was also very good. A single 300 Win Mag casing was found in the apartment of M. Dudenoff, a retired professor. The neighbors are saying he's in Portugal. They find that suspicious. Williams agrees, because no one would go to Portugal when there's Spain. All the neighbors were busy playing a card game when they heard the shot, except Rudy Thurber. He's some kind of Christmas freak. Also, Sazz's phone has been turned off and they're reviewing CCTV footage from the area. Williams says she's done, so they can ask their questions now. Charles's only question is if she really doesn't know who Brazzos is. Then he continues, saying that the feds have it wrong. Jan didn't kill Sazz. Williams believes him, but isn't sure Sazz was the target. Charles asks if she really believes someone in the West Tower hated him enough to try to kill him. Mabel says she's wasting her time if she tells them not to investigate. Williams knows that after three seasons. Charles still feels the need to solve the crime for Sazz even if he was the target. He's tapping in. Williams doesn't understand that. She tries to get them to focus, but then gets distracted herself when Eva Longoria, Eugene Levy, and Zach Galifianakis walk in. Eugene says Brazzos' signature line, which Charles draws Williams' attention to.

Oliver asks what they're doing there and promises not to leak their location to the trades. Eva explains that the Brothers sisters thought it would be a good idea if they followed the trio for a day. Eva did the same thing on Boss Baby 2. She shadowed a baby and they still text every day. Oliver asks if Zach came to study at the foot of the master. Zach doesn't look up from his phone as he dryly says he has so much to learn and he definitely didn't take the job thinking it would be easy money. Eugene was pushing for an extra day to deep dive into Charles. Eva tries to talk to Mabel, but Mabel says it's not a good time because there's been another murder. Eva is delighted by that and says to forget the character study. They'll just solve the murder instead. Once she leaves to get snacks, Williams asks how it is that Zach Galifianakis is playing Oliver in a movie. Oliver offers to introduce her to Zach, but she says she's not ready. She threatens to kill Oliver if anything happens to Zach. Charles and Mabel are both against the actors staying because it'll interfere with the investigation. Oliver wants them to stay, because you get one shot at a biopic unless you're someone really special and the first 24 hours of the character study are crucial. He needs Zach Galifianakis to fall in love with the character. Mabel says he's been outvoted, so Oliver tries to get Charles on his side. Charles doesn't go for it, saying he's already unlikeable doesn't need validation from Emmy award-winning actors. Eugene comes back and flatters Charles based on a book he owns about wood. Hearing that, Charles says maybe the actors could be helpful. Oliver cheers while Mabel grimaces.

Mabel looks through the blinds across the courtyard. Behind her, Eva starts to recite a monologue indicating Mabel's searching for purpose in her life. Mabel says she was just looking at the apartment from which the shot was fired. Anyone on the floor could have used the code to get in. Eva takes a large sip of her drink. When Mabel questions her drinking at 10 AM, she says she's getting into character. When Mabel says she doesn't drink at 10 AM, Eva says her Mabel does.

Charles goes over what they know about the weapon from Williams. It's popular among hunters, which Charles knows from Brazzos. Oliver says their killer is a hunter. He starts to make a voice recording about the hunter becoming the hunted. He tries to get Zach into it, but Zach is disinterested and continues looking at his phone, dismissing Oliver as making a joke every few minutes and then dropping names. Eugene doesn't understand why anyone would want to kill Charles. Charles continues that a bullet of that size would have some kick. He thinks maybe Vince's eyepatch is covering a bruise from the recoil. Eva is convinced and declares Vince the killer. Mabel tells Eva never to touch the murder board and puts Vince's picture back where it was. She adds that they met Vince and there's no way it's him. He's not strong enough to carry Sazz's body. Rudy Thurber, on the other hand, is very strong. Eva then declares Rudy the killer. Eugene asks if Rudy has any reason to hate Charles. Charles says no, but then says maybe the Christmas tree thing. He got everyone to sign a petition to ban real Christmas trees because they're a fire hazard. Eugene wonders who would kill someone over that. Mabel suggests it could be someone whose whole identity is loving Christmas. Charles says Rudy was out of town the night Sazz was killed. Mabel says they found what looks like tinsel by the window at Dudenoff's. It could place Rudy there. Eva loves it and moves the tinsel card up. Mabel moves her away from the murder board. Zach makes a joke about that, mimicking Oliver. Charles still thinks it's Vince Fish. Oliver suggests they divide and conquer. Charles and Eugene can go see Vince and Mabel and Eva can go see Rudy. Zach gets up, saying he's going to fire his agent and visit his kids. Oliver stops him, saying they have something important to do in Oliver's apartment. He stutters for a minute and then says they need to monitor the Ham radio from Dudenoff's place. If Zach also falls in love with Oliver, that's just a bonus.

Charles plays Botany Boy on the concertina. Eugene tries to play along, but does so poorly. They muse about Vince and how to get him to remove his eye patch. Eugene suggests that Charles ask for a glass of water and when Eugene will tell a joke. Charles will do a spit take and get water all over his face. When he dries his face, he'll be forced to remove the eye patch. After a moment, he realizes it's a stupid idea and apologizes. He's nervous to be playing Charles. He's always played the dullest pencils because he thought they were the funniest. But Charles isn't funny. He's a dull pencil, but Eugene was always impressed with his work on Brazzos. Charles suddenly says he has an idea for how to get the eye patch off.

Eva pours herself a large glass of wine and asks Mabel what the plan is to approach Rudy. She wants to go in aggressively. She also asks if Mabel is attached to the name Mabel. Mabel says she is. Eva thinks it's an old person name and thinks they can do better. She suggests pronouncing it Mabél. Mabel says no. She shows Eva the tinsel they found and says she needs to go to Rudy's and see if it matches any of his tinsel. Eva finds that plan boring. She wants to take more serious action and goad him into confessing. Mabel says he might kill them instead, because he might be a killer. She asks if Eva wants to know about Mabel. When Eva shows interest, Mabel says she works alone. Eva excuses herself, saying Mabél doesn't go where she's not wanted. Mabel corrects the pronunciation of her name.

Zach looks at himself in the mirror. Oliver comes in with a rack of clothes. He wants them to have a fresh start. Zach says they can and says his ass is looking good. Oliver explains how he likes to work, from the outside in. Zach says he's more of an inside out kind of guy. He reads the inside of the script and the words come outside of his mouth. He asks about the Ham radio. Oliver says any idiot can do that. Just then, Howard comes in with the pig. It's clear he's jealous of Zach for getting cast to play Oliver. Oliver asks him about the pig and Howard says she was found wandering the halls, very depressed, but Howard is going to fix that. He tests the name Natalie Porkman. He keeps guessing names and waiting for a reaction. Zach suggests George Swinebrenner. Howard says she's a girl, so he changes it to Gloria Swineham. Oliver asks Howard to monitor the ham radio so he can help Zach get into character, but Zach just wants to be done. Oliver sets up a scenario and asks Zach to pick between Angela Lansbury and Patti LuPone for a role. When Zach gives the wrong answer, Howard and Oliver realize how much work they have to do.

Mabel passes the Dudenoff place on her way to Rudy's. She knocks and is surprised when Eva answers the door. Eva says she's there to solve a murder and reminds Mabel that Mabél works alone. Rudy peeks out and asks if they have company. Eva reluctantly lets Mabel in.

Vince answers his door to find Charles and Eugene there, both wearing eye patches. He asks what this is. Charles says he was just bringing Eugene around to help people cope with the recent murders in the building. Vince asks about the eye patches. Charles says they both simultaneously developed conjunctivitis, but luckily, they have drops. They thought if his patch is covering the same thing, he might want to remove it and Charles would be happy to share his drops. Vince says he'll pass. He's tried every drop on the market. Eugene understands, but these drops are different. He just needs to hear Charles's story. Charles starts to improvise. He says his cousin is an ophthalmologist and his father, Charles's uncle, went to Paraguay at a missionary in the 1940s to convert the Montaguayo people and raise his son. Then Charles's cousin developed a cutting-edit pink eye treatment from the native lava cactus. It's not available in the US because of FDA regulations. Charles recently got a bottle. Vince agrees to try it. When Vince goes to walk away, Charles stops him and explains how to use it. It involves 16 drops going in the eye. Vince says he knows how to use an eye dropper and goes to leave again. Charles says he should do it with them because they want to record it so they can send the tape to his cousin. Vince excuses himself and leaves.

Rudy serves Eva and Mabel protein eggnog. It's his personal recipe. He tells Eva he's something of a mogul himself. Eva takes a sip of the eggnog and spits it right back out. When Rudy says there's ground deer hoof in it, Mabel and Eva both put their cups back on the tray. Mabel tries to talk to Rudy gently only to find out that Eva already told him they're investigating the murder. Mabel asks Rudy about the decor, which is missing her favorite thing. He lists off some things he has, but not visible to her. Mabel says she actually meant tinsel. Before he can answer, a ham radio nearby starts playing the Perfect Strangers theme song. When Mabel asks him about it, he gets up to get rid of it. As he goes to another room, Eva tells Mabel to look around because there's no tinsel. Mabel points out that there is a gun on the wall, plus another ham radio. She thinks he just hid the tinsel because Eva told him they were looking for clues. Eva wants to provoke a reaction out of him, so he can confess because she has a dinner at 7:30. She'd love to tell everyone she solved a murder. Mabel says her friend is in danger, so they're not provoking a killer so that Eva has a good story to tell.

As Zach flips through a photo album, Oliver tells him that, as a kid, he dreamed of having a life someone would want to turn into a film. Now he wants it to be the best film ever. Zach understands that Oliver doesn't want to be forgotten. Oliver doesn't think anyone can forget him. He leans over and starts working on Oliver's hair. Zach asks if any of the stories Oliver tells are true. Oliver says the key to an Oliver Putnam story is wanting it to be true. It should take place between 1960 and 1980 and involve a celebrity you're shocked is still alive. The best ones take place in a night club that's now an Applebee's or involve a drug that no longer exists. He has Zach close his eyes and sprays tanner on his face. This encourages Zach to make up an Oliver Putnam story of his own. It's not up to par for Oliver. Then they move over to the mirror, where Zach practices Oliver's signature moves with him.

Zach plays the flute as Oliver plays the piano.

Zach and Oliver dance to the elevators. The doors open, revealing Uma, who gestures between them and says she hates whatever that is.

Oliver and Zach return with several shopping bags and dance with a luggage cart in the lobby.

Eugene asks if Charles has another plan, since Vince will be back soon. Charles says he has a plan, but nothing comes out when he tries to say what it is. Eugene suddenly realizes he's in a murderer's apartment without a plan. Vince comes back with the vial and says they can hope that the drops work. Eugene asks if Vince could bring Charles a glass of water before they go. When Vince goes to get it, Charles tells Eugene they're not doing his spit take plan. Charles thinks it's a bad idea because he might be a murderer who can shoot into Charles's apartment. When Vince gives Charles the water, he immediately hands it to Eugene and starts to make a joke. Eugene shoves it back at Charles and starts a joke of his own. They argue over it for a minute and it ends up in Eugene's hands. Eugene takes a sip and Charles starts his joke. Eugene spits the water on Vince's face and Vince punches him in the face. Vince finally removes his eye patch, revealing no bruise. Just a pink eye. He says it's antibiotic-resistant pink eye.

Mabel looks around, trying to match the tinsel while Eva plays on her phone on the couch. Rudy comes back into the room as Mabel is looking through drawers. He asks what she's doing. She says she was admiring a nearby Santa toy and activates it to find that it gyrates its hips. Rudy picks it up and asks her not to touch it. Eva gets a notification that her dinner has been moved up to 6:30, so it's time to land this plane. She starts to break his decorations and tells him his eggnog sucks. She pulls the gun down and aims it at him. She tells him to admit that Christmas and fitness are all he has. She knows fitness is important to him, but mostly, he loves Christmas. So Charles trying to take away his real Christmas tree made him snap. She lays out the scenario of Rudy shooting Charles and Rudy says Eva's unhinged, which Mabel agrees with. When she gets to the part where Rudy shoots Charles, she fires the gun and then Eva realizes it's not a real gun. Rudy says it isn't and is shocked that she thinks he shot Charles because he loves Christmas. He admits that he actually hates Christmas. Mabel questions that, gesturing to all the decorations. Rudy says he's a fitness influencer. He made a Christmas-themed workout video and it went viral, so now he's stuck with it. He can't crack 100 likes unless it's Christmas-themed. The Christmas decorations are his jailers. People are always asking him if they're still on the naughty list, which he reveals is a list of names written on his abs. He spends all his time thinking up Christmas workout puns. His parents are disappointed in him. He feels relieved to have finally gotten that out. He asks them not to tell people about it. Mabel asks him about the tinsel. He attempts to light it on fire and tells her it's not tinsel, because tinsel is highly flammable. Mabel thanks him and apologizes for Eva firing what she thought was a real gun in his apartment. As a consolation, Eva says Michelle Obama will see his TikTok tonight. He thinks that's a euphemism for something, but Eva doesn't explain.

Oliver and Zach come in and put their bags down. Howard says he had a long day with the pig and the radio. He asks about their day and Zach takes another try at an Oliver Putnam story. Oliver approves this time. Zach steps out to take a call from his agent. Oliver declares the day a success. Howard kept a log of everything the heard on the radio. A few call signs, the theme from Perfect Strangers, and a lot of weather chatter. Most of these kooks are just waiting for the apocalypse, including Kristen Piig. Oliver and Howard hear a little of Zach's conversation and move to eavesdrop. Oliver is upset to learn that Zach didn't have a good time as he pretended to and is angry at his agent because he wanted to pivot his career. Zach finally notices them listening and abruptly ends the call. He says he's going to take off, but he had a lot of fun. Howard stops him and asks how he spent an entire with Oliver and still doesn't get it. Oliver is Howard's hero. He doesn't know the meaning of quitting. There's nothing he can't bounce back from. He's been through flop after flop. Anyone else would be destroyed, but not Oliver. Oliver tries to stop him, but Howard continues, bringing up Oliver's long-distance relationship. Most people are predicting it'll last only three months, but he's still helping Zach. Zach is finally intrigued by that. That's meaty. Oliver's not the court jester. He's King Lear. He just refuses to die. Zach hates him, but he loves him. This might finally make people take him seriously. He'll immortalize the real Oliver Putnam. He's ready to get started.

Eugene comes back into the room with toilet paper up his nose to staunch the bleeding. Charles used to get nosebleeds from anxiety all the time, but Eugene's is from being punched in the face. Vince apologizes for that. Eugene has just realized that Charles isn't that complex. He's just as scared as Eugene, which makes him funny. He thinks he can play Charles. Vince can't believe Charles thought he killed his friend. He can't even kill his pink eye. Charles thinks whoever shot Sazz had something wrong with their eyes because he thinks they meant to kill him. And he always thought Vince hated him. Vince always thought Charles hated him. Whenever Vince saw him through the window, he always looked away. Charles says he's just awkward. Vince is, too. They hug and then Vince and Eugene hug. Eugene doesn't let go, giving Charles a minute to look at a picture Vince has on his table, which shows Vince, Inez, Ana, Alfonso, Rudy, and a person with their head scratched out who is holding a pig. Eugene finally lets go and Vince shows them out of his apartment.

Eva says she's going to skip the part where she was wrong when she tells the story at her dinner. Mabel admits that Eva was actually kind of helpful. She probably would have wasted weeks thinking Rudy had a motive. Maybe Eva's Mabel's approach wasn't so bad. Eva says Mabél is bold. She pops. She sells shirts. Mabel decides to hang back, to take a page out of Eva's playbook. She rips the police tape off the Dudenoff door and enters the apartment.

Inside the apartment, Mabel looks around. She looks up squatters' rights for New York City and finds that they kick in after 30 days.

Charles looks out his window and sees Vince. They smile and wave at each other. Charles looks down when he gets a text. It's from Mabel, inviting him to a housewarming party. He looks over to see Mabel gesturing for him to come over to the Dudenoff place. He nods and gives her a thumbs up.

Charles and Oliver enter the Dudenoff place with cleaning supplies and simple bedding.

Charles asks Mabel about not believing Dudenoff's in Portugal. She's counting on him finding out she's squatting in his place and showing his face to kick her out. He could also be their killer. Oliver loves that Mabel is squatting. He tells a store of squatting in Sonny Bono's pool house. Mabel says it'll be good for the case and she needed a place to stay anyway. Charles is worried about Mabel staying there, but she's worried about him all the time. Now they can watch over each other. She wonders why the actors couldn't come for one of their finales, when they've figured everything out. She starts to sing the Perfect Strangers theme song. Oliver joins in. Oliver then realizes Howard heard the same song on the ham radio. He looks through Howard's book and finds it. Someone came on the line and said, "Meet me at 445." Mabel wonders about the ham radios, if they're in some kind of doomsday cult. Charles tells them about the photo he saw at Vince's place and the person who was scratched out. They wonder what 445 might be. Oliver thinks it's a frequency. Mabel tunes the radio to 445 and calls out. Someone replies, saying they shouldn't be on this frequency. They ask about Dudenoff and who is out to get Charles and learn that the last person who came around asking questions got killed. The pig snorts and the person on the line says, "I love you, Hammy Fake Bakker. The voice tells them to drop it or they'll be next.

Cast

Starring

• Steve Martin as Charles-Haden Savage
• Martin Short as Oliver Putnam
• Selena Gomez as Mabel Mora
• Michael Cyril Creighton as Howard Morris

Special Guest Stars

• Zach Galifianakis as Zach Galifianakis
• Eugene Levy as Eugene Levy
• Eva Longoria as Eva Longoria

Guest starring

• Jackie Hoffman as Uma Heller
• Richard Kind as Vince Fish
• Kumail Nanjiani as Rudy Thurber
• Da'Vine Joy Randolph as Detective Donna Williams

Notes and Trivia

Soundtrack

• "Song", performed by Artist
  Written by Composer

Media

Episode Stills

Photography by Patrick Harbron for Hulu.

Videos

Detective Williams Delivers a Clue - Only Murders in the Building- S4 Episode 3 Opening Scene - Hulu

What A Cast! - Only Murders In The Building - Hulu

See Also

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.