"Dirty Birds" is the fourth episode of the fifth season of Only Murders in the Building, starring Steve Martin, Selena Gomez and Martin Short. It originally aired on September 16, 2025.
Short Summary[]
Snooping goes sideways when three billionaire suspects catch the trio and invite themselves over for an evening at Oliver's.
Full Summary[]
Camila teaches a master class in How to Win Beautifully. She says winning her first $100 on a perfect bluff felt better than being a billionaire. That's when she fell in love with parlor games and winning.
Bash gives a presentation on the future of AI and gaming. He says he first beat his father at chess when he was five. Before that, he thought his father was the smartest person in the world and it broke his heart to realize that he was instead and no one would beat him for the rest of his life. There's no fun in that.
Jay livestreams himself saying the trouble with rich people is that there's no amount of money that makes them stop wanting more. People see him as a rich guy, but he barely even thinks about money. That's why he's so normal. As soon as the livestream turns off, Jay hands the hot dog he was holding to the person standing next to him and has him throw a ball for the dog. Jay watches the dog run after the ball and sends someone else to go find it when the dog can't.
Mabel, Oliver, and Charles are hiding behind the bar. Jay says it's not a typical Saturday night, but Camila thinks those typical days are behind them. Bash wants to make things quick, but then they hear glass shattering behind them, the result of Oliver knocking a glass to the floor. They think it might be a rat, but Mabel throws some poker chips onto one of the tables to create a distraction while they run out. As they go back upstairs, Charles wonders aloud why the richest people in the world are in their basement and Mabel wonders if they killed Lester.
In the lobby, Mabel says it's not a leap to assume their finger matches the bandaged area of Jay's hand. Charles agrees he's a suspect. Their conversation is interrupted by LESTR saying hello. They are shocked to see him. Howard says LESTR is their new doorman, named after their previous doorman. He's thrilled, unlike Randall. Uma also thinks it's just a sign of the rise of the machine. LESTR knows he can be unsettling to humans, but Howard is still on board. The board hired him to train LESTR. Mabel finds it sad and Charles says it's the beginning of the end of old New York. Randall objects, saying the machine will only handle deliveries and reminders. Thanks to the union, there will always be a human face at the door. LESTR wants to scan everyone's irises and fingerprints. Uma refuses and leaves.
Mabel wonders what's happening to their sweet murder building. Charles says things are changing fast. Mabel notices he's doing toe raises, which she's never seen him do before.
They get to Oliver's apartment, where Oliver says he took Winnie's ritalin and stayed up all night solving it. They're surprised to find Vince in Oliver's apartment. Oliver invited him over to decode the ledger, because he's a birdwatcher. He used to watch birds with Lester, to keep him honest. Vince misses their days in the park. They reveal their evidence board. Oliver was upset by them calling him a self-centered narcissist and this is his way of doing something for other people. They found out why Lester used birds as codes for the players. They were the most powerful people in the world and Lester was scared of them. Vince explains that last Saturday, there were only five birds, contrasting the usual large crowd. First is Nicky, the brown-headed cowbird, known for retaliatory behavior. Jay Pflug is an Eurasian jay. He's trying to rebrand himself as a philanthropist, but he's a monster who is secretly funding guerrilla groups. Bash is a kākāpō. He's older than he looks but no one knows exactly how old. Finally, there's Camilla White, lifestyle queen and hotel magnate, who is a bowerbird. Mabel wants to focus on Jay, because he's missing a finger. Mabel proposes letting him know they're onto him to lure him to them.
Charles, Mabel, and Oliver listen to the newest teaser, where they hint at Jay. They're sure that they'll hear from them.
Oliver and Mabel get off the elevator, where they run into Althea. Mabel has some pillows from Oliver for her new apartment. Howard is excited to see Thē, whom LESTR notes is the most-downloaded artist for 13 weeks in a row. He plays her newest hit briefly. Thē then asks how the podcast is going. Mabel says they just dropped their season five teaser. LESTR says listens are down from season four, but Oliver kicks him. Howard asks if they've seen the new Drunk Sluts Do Murder podcast. Thē is a huge fan. LESTR starts to share their popularity, but Oliver kicks him again. Thē says it's because Wondify is shoving the sluts down their throats. It's hard to get noticed when you're independent. Mabel says they just signed a huge deal at Wondify, so they'll be shoved down her throat soon, too. Thē offers Mabel her publicist.
Mabel admits she lied, but it might not be a bad thing because now she's sending Wondify a pitch and then they'll get a deal. There's already a movie about them and she's shocked they didn't come to them. Oliver asks why she lied and Mabel says she and Althea were each other's only friends in middle school. Mabel trusted her with everything and they used to make videos together as Sunny and Cloudy. Then Zoe died and Mabel struggled. When she finally went home, Althea had made all new friends and turned everyone against Mabel. She spent the rest of high school in her room with Tumblr. Now Althea is here at the top. Mabel is upset when Oliver and Charles look at their phones, but they say Jay just sent them a video. He says he'll be by at 7:00 to clear things up for them.
Oliver puts out champagne, caviar, and chocolate. He's not going to serve dinner, just salty snacks and alcohol, to get Jay drunk enough to confess. Charles disagrees. You have to serve dinner when someone comes over at 7:00 PM. So he brought the recipe and ingredients to make duck a l'orange. Charles and Oliver disagree about how to go about this. They're interrupted by a knock at the door. Jay is early. He has a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon with him. He's excited to meet them. He plays cards at the Arconia because it's the murder building. He starts to tell how he came to play there, but the doorbell rings again. Jay knew he was being followed. Oliver opens the door to find Camila, who has brought a candle. She finds Oliver's décor offensive to her sensibilities. Camila acts surprised to see Jay there. She says she's there to clear Jay's name, but Jay knows she's worried about what he would say about her. The doorbell rings yet again and it's Bash Steed, who has three bodyguards with him. Oliver closes the door before the guards can enter. Bash is there because the trio has been investigating Jay and he's been keeping tabs on Jay. He knew Jay would try to pin it on him. Oliver invites everyone to sit. He pops the champagne, but Camila wants bordeaux, which he doesn't have. Mabel and Charles question their presence and Bash says they're there to give the trio a chance to keep them out of the podcast to avoid being sued for libel. Oliver wants to calm things down, but Mabel says it's not libel to say they found them sniffing around a murder scene. Jay says the body was found hanging from a rack in his own dry cleaners. Camila doesn't even know why they're looking into it since they only do murders in the building. Bash says that's an odd business model. Charles says the dry cleaners is on the street level so it's technically "of" the building. Jay says no one wants to sue anyone. They just can't have their names tied to secret card games and dead mobsters. If Camila's stock crashes, that's tens of thousands of indigenous weavers who will go hungry. Bash points out that that's because she fires them. Mabel asks if they knew Nicky. Camila says no, but she knew he owned the gaming parlor. Jay adds that the mob factor made the place cooler. Bash wonders why they're investigating a mob hit, since it seems open and shut. Oliver tells them about Lester and asks if they knew him. They remember that there was always someone covering the door, an older man. Mabel says his death was ruled an accident due to a fall. Bash knows the dangers of falls and suggests Oliver and Charles take their anti-aging more seriously. Mabel says they believe Nicky died when Lester died. There were signs he was frozen and someone hid his body to make it seem like he died later. Camila and Jay are shocked they're admitting to getting their hands on the body on a podcast because it's a felony. The trio excuse themselves to get more caviar and hide in the kitchen. They can't figure out the billionaires' motives and decide to split them up to see what they say about Jay's finger. Mabel will take Jay, Charles Bash, and Oliver Camila. They go back into the living room, where Oliver offers Camila a tour to get her away. She accepts a tour before dinner. Charles is pleased that they're expecting dinner. He grabs his groceries and asks Bash to come help him in the kitchen. Once they're gone, Jay offers Mabel a beer. She takes it and asks him how he lost his finger. He counters by asking how Oliver and Charles became her best friends.
Oliver takes Camila into the dining room and asks how she knows Jay. All Camila knows about him is that he has a tantrum like a toddler when he loses. Getting back to Oliver's place, Camila says every room in his home needs her. She likes the picture of him and Loretta, but is surprised Loretta moved into his place as it is. Oliver admits she hasn't yet.
Bash says during the war, they only had duck at Christmas. Charles asks which war, but Bash ignores that and starts to chop parsley with a cleaver. He says he hasn't cooked in decades, but Charles asks if he knows anyone else who has used a cleaver lately. Bash ignores his question and laments that they will no longer leave behind written recipes, but bookmarks on a kitchen robot. When Charles asks how old he is, Bash says it depends on which organ. Charles finds it sad that times are changing, but Bash says you're only old if you don't change with the times. Technology has helped him stay young, but reinvention is the real key. Charles says it takes a lot of energy to keep up. Bash had had doubts, but he's always done it. Bash starts chopping again, startling Charles, who drops his recipe card into the pot, ruining it. Bash immediately asks his phone assistant for the recipe and gets it. Charles made it on Regis and Kathy Lee once. He thanks Bash, who celebrates technology.
Camila says her first home was also a sad one, being born to a casino magnate and his former showgirl wife. She moved to Connecticut as soon as she turned eighteen. That jumpstarted her on making the world more beautiful, which made her a billionaire. Oliver asks if she means that he and Loretta should start fresh and get a new place. Camila says the bones of his place are remarkable. He just needs to change everything.
Mabel tells Jay she has to know about his finger. Jay says the only crime he's guilty of is being a nepo baby who is trying to do some good with his ancestors' blood money. He started a non-profit and hired his friend to be CEO. The friend then stole his money. He's not a swindler, just someone who is bad at knowing who to trust. He's sure it'll happen again, but he keeps trying to prove he's not a screw up. Mabel asks if he knows Thē, someone Mabel incorrectly trusted. She's frustrating, but Mabel still wants to impress her, so she lied about them having a deal with Wondify, which she now has to try to make true. She's sure it won't happen and she hates herself for that. Jay starts singing Thē's song and Mabel says she'll kill him. She thinks Thē wrote the song about her. He says it's catchy. Jay says he was playing cards with the other two the night Nicky died, but he didn't kill anyone. Mabel asks about his finger and he says it was a bad decision in a long line of bad decisions.
Oliver asks Camila what happened to Jay's finger. Camila says the night Lester died, Nicky showed up with a cleaver.
Bash tells Charles that Nicky was livid and raving about Goodfellas.
Camila says Nicky had white powder under his nose.
Jay says Nicky was nuts and he was going to hit someone. Jay tried to stop him
Camila says Jay had to be the hero, so Nicky chopped off his finger. Camila left because of the mess.
Bash says he warned Jay not to escalate, but then his finger got cut off and they all ran out.
Jay tells Mabel there wasn't time to look for it, which is why he went back. He'd rather not have a finger floating around. She asks if Mabel saw it in there. Charles comes in and announced the food will be ready in two hours and forty-five minutes. Bash says he doesn't eat after 11 AM, but wants to know if they answered all the trio's questions. Charles says yes. He says what Bash told him, which matches Jay and Camila's stories. Jay is surprised Camila and Bash didn't lie to pin it on him. Camila trusts that she won't hear her name on future episodes now that it's cleared up. Jay also can't stay for dinner, but thanks Mabel for the talk. Camila tells Oliver to enjoy the remodel as they file out. They walk into Oliver's dining room to find it totally re-done.
Oliver, Mabel, and Charles eat the duck a l'orange at Charles's place because the fumes at Oliver's were giving Oliver a headache. Charles wonders what war was going on when Dorothy Parker was in her sexual prime, trying to figure out how old Bash is. Mabel says it's pretty crazy that they have Jay's finger in his freezer. At least they figured that out. Charles asks if they're going to believe Jay, Camila, and Bash. Oliver says Camila's no killer. Mabel says Jay didn't do it. He's just trying to protect everyone. He's sweeter than she expected. She denies fluttering his eyes at him. Charles doesn't like the idea of both Oliver and Mabel being coupled up. Mabel gets an email and tells Charles and Oliver that Wondify wants to sign them. They're inviting them to come see the studio and join the family. They're all excited.
Oliver, Charles, and Mabel meet with a Wondify executive, who gives them a tour. They pass the drunk sluts from Drunk Sluts Do Murder, who are recording. Next they get to their studio, where the executive lays out the terms of their deal. They all sign their contracts. Oliver starts to tell them about the new season, but the executive says that's incredible, but there's one thing. Before she can say what it is, Mabel realizes suddenly that Jay is missing a right index finger while their finger is a left index finger. They're back to not knowing whose finger it is. Mabel is ready to start recording and take Jay down. The executive reminds them of a restrictions they have of the corporate machine. That includes not podcasting about management of the company. They recently got new majority stakeholders: Jay, Camila, and Bash.
Camila says the easiest way to win a game is make your opponents think you're playing a different game.
Charles, Mabel, and Oliver realize the billionaires were working together.
Bash says while focused on that game, your opponent may give you what you need to win the real prize.
The executive tells them if eliminating Jay, Bash, and Camila takes the teeth out of the story, their deal can be rolled to any other podcast ideas. They're family now and will remain exclusively so for three years.
Jay says by the time they realize what you've done, the game is over.
Cast[]
Starring[]
- Steve Martin as Charles-Haden Savage
- Martin Short as Oliver Putnam
- Selena Gomez as Mabel Mora
- Michael Cyril Creighton as Howard Morris
Guest starring[]
- Beanie Feldstein as Althea
- Jermaine Fowler as Randall Winston
- Jackie Hoffman as Uma Heller
- Richard Kind as Vince Fish
- Logan Lerman as Jay Pflug
- Simone Recasner as Wondify Executive
- Christoph Waltz as Bash Steed
- Renée Zellweger as Camila White
Co-starring[]
- Tony Daniels as Regis Voice Over
Notes and Trivia[]
General[]
- The title sequence to this episode shows three different breeds of bird, sitting on the windowsill above the gated entrance to the building courtyard.
Cultural references[]
Soundtrack[]
Media[]
Episode Stills[]
Behind the Scenes[]
Videos[]
See Also[]
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A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here. |
References[]